Monthly Musings: An Introduction
If you are one to take the Enneagram seriously, it might mean something to you that I have traditionally labeled myself a “Type One”. The grouping described, with haunting precision, some of my basic desires: The fear of being compromised (or doing evil), an emotional need for the dissolution of moral imperfection or inconsistencies, the drive to subject my body and will to my principals. I desired to be beyond ultimate propositional error and ultimate moral reproach.
While I have undergone some changing — that I would label maturing (from where I am now, of course), I find that my fear of forgetting has, although to a lesser and healthier degree, remained. Let me remember that time that I finally pieced together that abstract puzzle, thrust me back to my moments of genius, and I would know everything that I believe, know why I believe it, and know just the right words to communicate that perfected and non-contradicting picture in conversation, at a moment’s notice. I find myself wanting a transcript of my thoughts, so that nothing is lost.
Well, such a transcript is not to be found on this side of the cosmic divide. And besides, I would only be entertaining my obsessive-compulsive fear of regression or forgetfulness.
Only by the grace of God, I might know something, I might find myself the grateful recipient of some wisdom, as it passes through my open hands. Let me never try to grasp it, as it passes on by, in my field of vision in one moment, and forever gone the next.
And as I begin this project, let me enter knowing its limits. Let me not deceive myself to think the project of writing and reducing and systematizing and describing to be comprehensive and sufficient. Stories are often better than essays. As Paul Kingsnorth says, “Usually [the spirit of the age] is easier to talk about in poetry or fiction, for the age doesn’t look kindly on anything which can’t be quantified.” So let me humbly go about my chosen method of systematizing and processing that which can never be fully contained by systems and process.
So, not merely for the sake of informational documentation, but to clarify and distill my thoughts as I work them over, and to make that dialogue a form of public witness, please allow me to write my musings and conjectures in a monthly-hodgepodge format, here on my Medium page. It’s better than Tweeting, anyway.
